How did you come about your parenting style?
How did you come about your parenting style? Were you influenced by your own parents? Did you just test techniques to see what worked/didn’t work?
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When I was growing up, kids were seen & not heard, & you speak when spoken to. With my kids I made sure that they were allowed to have an opinion, right or wrong, they are entitled to it. I was very open and honest with my kids about everything, and I answered all thier questions honestly (age appropriate). I explained my reasons for punishments or for saying no to something, I followed through with punishments too, that’s very important. We had fun, and lots of hugs too. Love em lots!
I took everything my parents did, and did the opposite…
Trial and error to start with. Found a good book about childhood emotional developement that helped me understand what I was up against. This made them easier to manage and satisfy.
We are all influenced by our parents. I have worked hard not to be my Dad. He’s an intellectual genius and emotionally a child.
My parenting style came from my mother as she and I share the same values. I believe that parenting comes from an array of influences such as your parents and friends of whom you have admiration and respect.
Don’t worry, your style will come instintively based on values and the influences of those you wish to emulate.
Good luck!
I started off horribly.. I was a yeller and screamer .. I had no patience and had too high of expectations … Over time, I relaxed. I still raised my voice, but my expectations are with limits now and my patience has grown tremendously..
I think what helped the most was seeing other "bad" parents and noticing when I may have done some of those same things, recognized it and changed it immediately..
Now I know i am doing a great job and it shows in my child’s intelligence, kindness and generosity..
I did everything that I wanted my parents to do (but they didn’t) and it worked great.
Just use what works. There is no particular style which will suit every child.
I now pretty much do the same as my own parents with my individual twists.
When I went to college I decided as a result of the pscychology and education classes that my parents were too strict–especially in that they spanked.
However, after I had my own–I decided they were not so stupid and old fashioned as I thought. And so a lot of things I do (and yes–including spanking) are the same as them.
Of course, I have had my own experiences with my own children and this has given me different views on some things than my parents had.
I have also read parenting books. But I do this very critically–as I do with any type of opinion I read. I have gathered a few good ideas there–but it is far from a dominant influence.